grandparents

For our vacation, my mom is flying down on Friday, my dad not until Sunday. That leaves the sports to my mom to get organized. Soccer game Saturday morning, baseball practice in the afternoon and baseball game on Sunday. I think the kids know their routines so well they can do them alone, but my mom wants it all written out. I'm working to get them rides to school so my parents only have to deal with pickups. We've been walking to get Pook in the afternoons so if the great fall weather continues it will simplify the driving even more.

I hadn't realized how little my mom drives these days. She doesn't mind the daily routines at her home, but in a strange car in a strange city I can tell she's anxious. Her vision isn't great and I think she's always turned the voluntary driving over to my dad. I makes me realize that they're aging. I hope my father will be able to relinquish the keys when he needs to. I'm not optimistic.

I've noticed that the grandparent babysitting window is narrow. I had children pretty late and I think if I had babies or toddlers now, it'd be too much for them. I barely made it in. CD was the youngest of three and his parents were older than traditional parents in the 60's, so they're old enough now to no longer be comfortable babysitting ours. As the next oldest cousin (now age 10) has grown up, their window has shifted. They've watched him for a week at a time since he was a baby, but ours have been at the more difficult stages just younger than him and have missed out. There's also the complication of having two. In any case, they don't feel like they can handle watching our boys for any extended time.

I never felt like I knew my grandparents very well and I'd love for my boys to have that opportunity. While the idea of free babysitting is fabulous, I'd love for the kids to be able to see their grandparents more often for simple short visits and overnights because the relationship between kids and grandparents is different when the parents are out of the picture. I always hoped my parents would live near us after retirement. Now I know it isn't going to ever happen. They're a long days drive or a flight away. CD's are only four hours by car, but still too far. We have visits with them all, often, but it can't be often enough.

We'll all need to make sure we foster that relationship while we still can. I realize that my parents have stories. My father claims to have delivered his whole paper route without putting his hands on his bike handlebars. My mom told about swimming in an old quarry. CD's mom played softball when she was younger. His dad brought up the shocking idea to my children that there had been no rubber soled shoes when he was young. They wore brown leather lace up shoes. These are the stories I need to hear too so I can help keep them around.