quiche masochist

CD called me a quiche masochist.  I was thinking that I'm more of a quiche manipulator.  I always love the quiches that other people make, but mine are a bit... inconsistent.  I'm just not much of a recipe follower.  I like the idea on a recipe, but I don't have or I don't like or I don't want to use all the ingredients.  No problem!  Make it up!  Change it!  Substitute!  Well, I've mentioned before that this gets me into trouble with quiche.

I keep planning to make side-by-side quiches with my mom.  We'd both make crusts, we'd use the same amount of egg and milk and we'd cook the veggies and drain any liquids identically.  Having not done that yet, I got suckered into printing out another quiche recipe I found online. 

Is it necessary to give the author credit when I didn't follow her recipe?  Just in case you want it, it was on a blog called "For the Love of Cooking" and gracefully called "Jalapeno Chicken Sausage,  Mushroom, Smoked Black Pepper White Cheddar, and Tomato Potato Crusted Quiche".  Yeah.  I used the crust and the egg from that.

Here is what turned out great for dinner:
Potato Crusted Leek Quiche
2 large potatoes, grated and patted very dry
cooking spray
salt & pepper
     *Spray pie pan and pat potato into the pan on bottom and sides.  Spray again and sprinkle with salt and pepper.  Bake at 375 for 12 minutes.  I'm tempted to put it into a cold oven while preheating to encourage more browning on the bottom of the crust.  Do this cautiously.

3 leeks, dark green removed, rinsed well and sliced
olive oil
salt
     *Saute leeks until soft and most water has evaporated.

3/4 c. chopped swiss cheese
7 eggs, slightly beaten
1/4 c. milk
freshly ground pepper

     *Sprinkle cheese into baked potato crust, then pour in leeks and egg-milk combination.  Bake 30-40 minutes and test with a toothpick.  Cook a few minutes before slicing.

easy bake oven

Vidalia season. Time to pull out the worn out recipe for Vidalia onion pie. That would be recipes in the plural. At least one for quiche. A few called pie. Another, with a cracker base. Another, all scribbled upon.  Honestly, it doesn't matter which one I used last time. I always do the same thing. I mess with them.

No, let me rephrase that. First I mess with them, then I complain that they never turn out.  This year will be different.  The kids hear me mention "Vidalia pie" and get excited. "Are you making a quiche?" "Oh, I love Vidalia pies!"  See what I have to work with here? The pressure is tough.

I decide to start over, and I go online. Food Network has a five star recipe. I'll go back to basics and ignore all the scribbles for changes I've previously made.

Excellent.

Two pounds of onions. How much does an onion weigh? I bought five. That'll do.

"Do not brown the onions."  Huh? Are they completely wacko? Of course I'm browning the onions. I'll put them in the crock pot and I'll give them all day. What a great smell!

Oh, one commenter skipped the crust. That would solve so many of my problems. I hate making pie crust.

Really? Only three eggs? But then it becomes a side dish, and I don't have time to plan something else. I'll double it.

Hm. A cup of sour cream. I have most of a cup. But certainly not two. I'll add some milk.

Well, if it called for three tablespoons of flour, and I'm doubling it, that's six. But I used milk instead of the extra sour cream, so maybe just a little bit more.

I don't have much Parmesan. Maybe Swiss. Oooh, I have that wonderful Jarlsberg; that will be fabulous.

Preheated to 450... no, still not hot. Still not hot? What?! Why is that $%#& oven still not hot?  Well, I've done this before. I'll turn on the broiler until it gets hot and then the residual heat will be fine.

Twenty minutes. Got that. Now I can lower the temp (it will actually do this by itself since it isn't heating today anyway) and cook it another twenty minutes "or until done in the center." Ha! I know to set aside an hour for a quiche. I'm prepared for this one.

Or so I thought I was. I let the dish rest for five minutes, to the chorus of "I'm hungry"s, and then served up... raw egg on the bottom.   I turn the broiler on to heat the oven again, and set the timer for yet another twenty minutes.

It is now after 7pm. We make ham sandwiches for dinner. Everyone is crabby.

As we clear the table and decide to go out for ice cream, I check on the pie again. It looks fabulous. It has risen two inches and browned to a golden cheesy deliciousness.

Just like that, I've baked a wonderful Vidalia onion pie.

We'll eat it tomorrow.  I might need to make a few notes on the recipe however.

pie wrecks

I looked.  There is no complement to the Cake Wrecks website for pies.  There should be.  I could contribute regularly.  Not often, but about once a year I decide that I ought to be able to make pie crust.  My mom makes great pie crusts.  I finally blamed my tile counter tops (not flat for rolling) and quit.  Then I got a marble slab from my mother in law and I had to look for something else to blame.  I did, and I quit.  But I would be inspired for Thanksgiving, or for a quiche. And it would be a disaster.  And I'd quit.  I'd try rolling the store bought crusts a bit thinner, but it still haunted me, so I'd try again.

I watched America's Test Kitchen last week and they made a beautiful blueberry pie. Seeing that I have two gallons of blueberries here, I thought this would be perfect.  They've perfected pie crust and explained the how and the why.  The crust uses vodka in addition to water for extra moisture, to make it easier to roll out.

So, yesterday I did it.  I measured, I spilled flour, I mixed, I refrigerated, I rolled.  I squished. I added more flour.  I cried.  I called my mom.  I added more flour.  I patted.  I debated taking a photo (you know you're a blogger when....) and I re-read the shortening package.  Oh. I thought that seemed like more than 8 tablespoons.  I'd read it twice because it seemed wrong.  And it was.  I debated adding more flour, again. I scraped the blueberry goo out of the pie crust.  I threw the crust in the trash.  I cleaned up the floor.  I cleaned up the counter.  I cleaned the dishes.

I tried again today.  Full of confidence.  If I'd only had the right amount of shortening it would have worked.  The Test Kitchen works out the kinks.  It will be successful today.

Yeah, right.  Now, I do have confidence in the taste.  (If I don't burn it in my horrid oven.)  The blueberry goo looked fabulous, and can't have done anything but improve with a night in the fridge.  But the crust? 

Pie wreck.

family rules

Here are some of our family's rules (in no particular order):

1. no whining before breakfast
2. don't wake Mama (unless there is blood or fire)
3. be dressed for school before breakfast
   
4. tell me about the wet bed in the morning
5. no lego before breakfast or at bedtime
6. don't wear navy blue with black
7. never bother Mama when she's making a quiche
8. taste everything
9. don't hit your brother, even if I can't see you
10. seatbelts before toys