me, Bug, and Mama

a guest posting by Pook:

Me,[Bug],and Mama went to Stone Mountain on Tuesday.First we played mini golf.Next we watched the glass blower make a glass fish.The fish was about a foot long.Then we saw the black smith make mosly a handle for a bird feter, but he made something else too when we were there.After that we went up the blue skyride to the top of the mountain.We walked around at the top of the mountain.Then we took the red skyride train to the botom of the mountain.When we were at the botom of the mountain we walked to a field of grass infront of the carving on the mountain.Then we went home. THE END

spring break sweet sleep

We went to Stone Mountain yesterday as part of our spring break fun. Stone Mountain is the largest exposed granite 'stone' in the world and has a bas relief carving on the side of three figures from the Confederacy. This does not impress the boys. What they love is taking the skyride up and/or down, hiking up and/or down, taking the train around it (too long, too loud, too jostly) playing putt putt, seeing glass blowing demos, blacksmith demos, candy making demos (of course), and monster trucks (so we won't forget we're in The South). The kids have never even seen the evening lightshow, the huge playground, a lake with pedal boats, a paddlewheel riverboat, amphibian "duck" rides, carillon concerts, hiking, golfing, swimming, and I'm sure much more. We bought a membership this year and plan to see what else they offer. I'm more for pedal boats than monster trucks.

So... we met friends there yesterday and did PART of the many attractions. They had to leave at 1pm, but we stayed a bit longer. The sun had finally made an appearance after many dreary days, and the boys had spent the last 3o minutes running on the Great Lawn barefoot. I was already considering sleep. Unfortunately, I knew they were exhausted but that I probably wouldn't get a nap from anyone.

My luck changed when Bug fell asleep in the car. I made Pook promise to play quietly in his room when we got home. I carried Bug to the sofa and I collapsed (with all 44lbs of him!) and we slept together for an hour. It'd been a long time since we'd done that. I woke up after about 30 minutes and my arm was numb. I tried to adjust it, but didn't get up. I didn't want to ruin the moment. There won't be many more like it. Instead I turned to look at his eyelashes against his flushed cheek. I filled my lungs with the smell of sweet baby sweat. I need to remember that smell when they grow up.

spoons and other gifts

Quote of the day: "I'm a good little boy and always very curious." (Bug)

*****

We're on Spring Break this week, and have stayed in town. This means that we're going to Field Trip our way around town, and that I'll be hopelessly behind in things like laundry by the end of the week. And that I'll be a little frayed around the edges from so much time with the boys. I may not get a chance to post again.

*****

Sunday night our neighbors invited us over. Their boys are Little Kid (LK) age4, Middle Kid (MK) turning 7, and Big Kid (BK) age 8. MK has Downs Syndrome and Autism. He runs around with the others some, but is often inside playing on his own. He's able to communicate a bit, but isn't really verbal. I'm pleased at how much the boys accept him and include him. All I've explained is that different people's brains work in different ways. Apparently good enough.

So, it was MK's birthdayparty. I asked Pook and Bug what we should give to him. They both started to giggle, then answered at the same time, "spoons!" Well, they're right, his favorite thing right now is spoons. He likes the noises they make against his hand and cheek. Some spoons are better than others and he's walked off with most of his mom's dinner spoons and I think all of her measuring spoons. So, spoons were part of our gift. I also bought a fun Playdoh kit I thought he'd enjoy.

The day of the party, Bug got himself in trouble by giving me the tongue-sticking-out-finger-wagging-combo and was sentenced to a 30 minute delay going to the party. Honestly, other than kicking him to the moon and back or selling him on eBay, it was the meanest thing I could think to do. (I'm not yet sure if it had the desired effect.) My husband (who needs a pseudonym more than even LK, MK, and BK do) offered to stay behind while Pook and I headed next door. Since there was much screaming, I was happy to accept. I left the gift behind because Bug hadn't signed the card and was in no mood to do so.

When my husband (who I think wants to think of his own pseudonym) came over with Bug, they had an additional package with them. Turns out, Bug had settled himself down and said he wanted to give MK a gift by himself. He searched through our seldom used board books and chose My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss. He put it in a shoe box, got a piece of paper and wrote his name on it, got out a colored envelope and put the "card" in it, taped it all together and brought it to MK.

I was so impressed.

We were about to leave (an hour past bedtime) and MK hadn't opened gifts yet. I suggested that Bug just give him his. He took both presents to him and MK opened the Playdoh. Unexciting. On to the next box, Bug's. He took out the book, immediately started to flip through the pages, then, when bothered by the onlookers (us) moved to another room to continue flipping through the book.

Well done, Bug. (He liked his spoons too, but the ones his mom picked out for him he liked better!)

kissalish

Bug calls from the den, "Can you come kiss me and tickle me and zerbert me?" I peek in and he's spread eagle on the sofa with his t-shirt pulled up. Could you resist? Me? Never!

I give him tickles and kisses and some good loud zerberts on the tummy. I asked him where he was most ticklish. "I'm most 'tickalish' on my ham hocks" he giggled, (thighs for you non southerners) then he offered, "and I'm most kissalish on my neck." Much more tickling, kissing and zerberting ensued.

Entry into family vocabulary: "kissalish", and perhaps "kissalicious"

crash prevention

I've mentioned that Bug is going to OT (Occupational Therapy) without getting into it much. But yesterday I had a good conversation with the social worker there. I'd recoiled when they first suggested I speak with her. I felt that they must have misunderstood the issues. I also felt that speaking to her about Bug's behavior was a waste of time; I'm quite familiar with behavior modification techniques. I taught Special Education Preschool for ten years and in those ten years I worked with some doozies! I figured that the processes didn't really apply to Bug because we were here for sensory issues that are causing behavior problems, not manipulative power struggle behavior.

But, she had some great points. First, no one ever sees these outbursts but us and maybe my mom occasionally; he's a teacher's pet at school. If he can behave himself out and about then he can contain himself at home if he has the right incentive. So, go back to using time out, even if it makes him angrier at the moment and increases meltdowns for a few days or weeks. But give him the option to use the strategies we're teaching him at OT first. Second, she said that when we provide him with drums and pillows to punch we're encouraging the outward expenditure of energy. He needs energy directed inward - the deep pressure we've been learning.

So, I tried to explain to Bug what we're going to be doing around here (in addition to bracing for a series of meltdowns like we haven't seen in a while) and I found a way to depict the whole issue to him, myself and others:

He's the car. Happy when full of gas/energy. Not happy when running low on gas. Cars on the highway that run out of gas crash.
1. When he feels like he's running low, he needs to fill up. He has a repertoire of activities which are supposed to refuel him.
2. However, if he doesn't fill up on his own, and since he's driving straight toward the Mama and Daddy cars, we're going to try to prevent him from crashing by helping him refuel. We, too, have a repertoire of techniques for this.
3. If he doesn't stop to get more gas alone or with help, and therefore crashes, we will get our tow truck and remove him. By whatever means it takes.
4. When he is refueled and calm again, he can get back on the road.

Now don't you wish you could apply this to actual drivers?